Dear Santa

How I miss you. You filled all the small spots of my life with joy. I had your heart and head to lean on, confess to and the, most important, your loving support. There are many humans who help fill those needs and God I know is always near and ready, but you were blood and flesh I could hug. It's that time of year again and Christmas Eve bothers me. The kids will be gone and I can't make up my mind of what to do. I'll help with the first two services, but I'm already lonely trying to figure out the rest of evening. I'm praying and thinking of different plans. Christmas Day will be at Mike's and that will be very good. It almost feels like I'm being punish for loving one person and I know that's a lie, but that's what it feels like. Am I whining of course I am? Texas was so good and full of joyful noise. Quiet is good, but silences is loud and sad.
I wonder if I'm not really appreciating the message of that night so long ago. Maybe too much "all about me". Unconditional love, the gift of salvation was promised to all who open the box. Worship with joy, celebration with the dance of love, and broken hearts mended and repaired. "God so loved the world that he gave". Easter morning was already in the plan. What a plan! So again I pray today belongs to him, to trust him unconditionally. He has a plan

Change/Grace

June 22 was a day that started off to be fun and exciting, in the middle became painful & angry and finished joyful. It was the first day of my vacation. The Larsons were meeting in LV for family and fun. Bob would be leaving for the sandpit shortly. As I was getting into the seat of the plane, I blew my right knee. Not the way to start a vacation. So I sat there for 3 hours wondering if I would be able to walk. Lord this isn't funny. After landing I stood up and carefully got our luggage out of the overheads and limped down the aisle. As we started through the tube I told Shirley I hurt my knee. From that point my fingerprints are on the wall along the concourse for miles, then the trolley, another long concourse, finally a taxi. Of course Shirley is really concern and I'm still praying and asking God why now? Got to the hotel, got out of the taxi forgot to step on my left leg and POW! almost hit the ground. Boy! did I get attention. Bought a brace, found ice and took Advil. Had a great time, Joy in all circumstances. It's four months later. No surgery, lots of excercise and aspirin the knee is almost back to normal. Bob is back from the sandpit and I've been loved and taken care of by wonderful kind people. He is the God of love and that love becomes real with each person who reached out for my needs. I know the power of prayers released his power by calming my spirit and healing the body. Thanks to all the prayer warriors and blessed is the King of Kings.

Challenges

Saturday 8/30, I turn the TV on for the first time in 30 days. Kurt our MS pastor asked us to Fast for a month, so I choose TV. I missed the noise, not so much the programs and was only tempted a few times. Did move the remotes away from the chair. Did a lot of thinking about the MS kids and the program, especially their families. Prayed for our leaders and our church as the new year starts. God has plan and we are a huge part of it. My prayer for all of us is to be a reflection of Him. We need to be Grace givers with generous spirits. I friend share with me that sometimes God's plan isn't just "to do", but "to be". Such a wise thought, something I need to think about. Challenges mean change and change can be fun and exciting, or scary and hard. That's the chose we have. God is in control and He loves us unconditionally. So the son who is in harms way and still enjoys the creation, family and friends experiencing the hills and valleys and still laugh are my examples of Faith.

A week-

I've finish week one for my fasting challenged. We are really creatures of habit, my fingers itch to surf the 85 channels. I really don't watch much TV, but the sound of voices help fill the empty rooms. Now I find myself thinking and talking with the Lord and then just listening for his messages. Last night as I was saying my prayers and started drifting to sleep, I heard voices from the swimming area just outside my window. There was laughter, splashing of water, night birds and a quiet murmur of voices. I became part of that circle of life and fill asleep happy and secure. I'm learning to be still and wait. I've done a lot of waiting in my life, for test results, waiting rooms, hospital rooms, airports, pick up and deliver kids, you name it I've been waiting for something or someone, but not waiting for him. Last Friday night I rededicated to trust him unconditionally. He is in control and does a much better job then I can. Phil 4: 6-7 When I pray about everything, "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and my mind in Jesus Christ". Unbeliverable-No Beliveable!

Challenge

Being part of the Middle School leadership, Kurt sent us a challenge to Fast for a month and pray for the Ministry, students and leadership. Since I have physical issues food isn't an option for me to Fast. So that night as I was saying my prayers the thought crossed my mind to give up TV for a month and use that time to pray. Until August 29, no baseball, no Olympics and no Mark Harman. Last night 7/30 as I walked in my home the first impulse was to reach for the remote. My home is so very quiet, I started dinner, sat down to eat and finally turn on the CD player. I prayed and read from a Max Lucado book. I went to bed and fell asleep praying. Woke up this morning and didn't turn on the news. I looked out the window to get the weather report. Such a beautiful morning. Maybe quiet is okay, I'll find out.