Dear Santa

How I miss you. You filled all the small spots of my life with joy. I had your heart and head to lean on, confess to and the, most important, your loving support. There are many humans who help fill those needs and God I know is always near and ready, but you were blood and flesh I could hug. It's that time of year again and Christmas Eve bothers me. The kids will be gone and I can't make up my mind of what to do. I'll help with the first two services, but I'm already lonely trying to figure out the rest of evening. I'm praying and thinking of different plans. Christmas Day will be at Mike's and that will be very good. It almost feels like I'm being punish for loving one person and I know that's a lie, but that's what it feels like. Am I whining of course I am? Texas was so good and full of joyful noise. Quiet is good, but silences is loud and sad.
I wonder if I'm not really appreciating the message of that night so long ago. Maybe too much "all about me". Unconditional love, the gift of salvation was promised to all who open the box. Worship with joy, celebration with the dance of love, and broken hearts mended and repaired. "God so loved the world that he gave". Easter morning was already in the plan. What a plan! So again I pray today belongs to him, to trust him unconditionally. He has a plan