God is so smart and funny at the same time. I did go to the Closer event for women after reading the book, I was hooked. There were some very special times, getting to know new faces and learning about others I knew. Susan Hill was a excellent speaker, sharing her struggles, victories and her relationship with the Lord. I had decided to come late on Saturday, I was brushing my teeth at about 9am and the phone rang. It was Lorna asking if I would give a testimony about something I had heard Friday night. Now I couldn't be late and as the morning progressed I prayed for the right words and the words that God wanted to be heard and keep my hands from shaking. I shared about my father and how that relationship put a barrier with the Father in heaven. God reaches out to me often, speaks to me thru thoughts. This time He used someone else to send a message. As the author's husband would have said: "Is that odd or is it God?" The lesson I've been learning this past year is to be bold. When prompted to take action, to take the challenge, and then trust God.

Learning/ Believing

I started reading "Closer" the book being used for the Women's Retreat. The first few chapters deal with the barriers between you God. Oh! My goodness, I've had so much trouble trusting in God's plans his desires for me and letting him have control of my life. My dad left home when I was 11 and even though I cried and begged him not to go he did and he was angry with me. Then I felt guilty, because I was the Princess. It was 8 years before I saw him again, I was married and had our first son. So the father image was damaged and it took another 40 years to realize the damaged. My siblings and I never talked about our folks divorce and when we finally did, we all blamed ourselves. I looked up the word guilty. "If you break the law or commit a sin you are guilty other wise you are innocent." Our Father will never abandon us and he is in control of our lives and loves us unconditionally. I love him and I start my day by praying to trust him unconditionally. The barrier is slowly crumbling as I take each day as it comes. Romans 8: 38-39

Strength

This has been a sad tough week. A neighbor passed away and 2 friends were arrested for DUI. Then another friend's wife has been diagnose with terminal lung cancer. My heart hurts and I'm angry with the Lord and the poor choices that we humans make. So I cry and cry out "no". As I was reading in Isaiah I came across a note. You see I never write in the Bible not any book. I don't underline, I make notes on other paper. So I don't know who wrote and circle these verses. Isaiah 41: 9-10. It certainly helped reduce the hurt in my heart and gave me time with Him, to think, to listen, and then to trust. This weekend I'm going to rest and maybe hear Him speak more. I'm dedicating my time for praise and worship. This day (Friday) has had a happy and joyful blessing. All my children are home and safe. Today would have been Rod's 72 birthday and it was a happy time sharing with them. Rod's love of daffodils came from a poem by Wordsworth, he could quote that poem word for word driving us all nuts. Joy and sorrow seem to go hand in hand, I'm so bless to be able to share with so many my story. Thank you Lord for showing yourself in others.